The Secret To Catching Fish

A man has been fishing by the lake all day.

… and he catches nothing.

He decides to give up, but on his way home he notices a boy fishing a few feet away.

The man immediately notices that the boy has caught several buckets of fish, and then he sees him catch another one.

“Excuse me,” the man says, “I haven’t caught much around here. I have to ask, what’s your secret?”

The boy pauses for a moment, then mumbles, “hmmm mmmph mmm mmph mmm hmm mmmph”.

“I’m sorry, can you say it again?”

The child repeats a little louder this time, “hmmm mmmph mmm mmph mmm mmm mmm hmm mmmph!

“I still don’t understand, I’m sorry.”

Finally, the boy spits something on his hand and yells,

“You have to keep your worms warm!

They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women

A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.

“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.

What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!

Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.

They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!

Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”

The woman looked up wearily and said;

“You fool, I meant my dress size.”

The moral of the story is this:

If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.