The Farmer And His 3 Legged Pig
As a man leans against the farm gate and watches the farmer round up the sheep, he realizes that the farmer is using a pig, not a sheepdog.
What’s more, the pig skillfully herding the sheep into the pen has only three legs.
“Excuse me,” the man says to the farmer, “but why does this pig only have three legs?”
“Let me tell you a little bit about this pig,” says the farmer.
“This pig not only herds my sheep, but also sings in the morning, milks the cows in the morning and evening, and collects the eggs from the chickens.”
“And that’s not all,” he continued. “This pig can count! He can count so well that he does all the farm accounts and fills out my tax forms.”
“What a wonderful pig,” said the man.
“I’m not done yet,” said the farmer.
“Two years ago, there was a fire in my farmhouse, and the pig called the fire department and then brought water from the river to put out the flames. Then he waded through the smoke to where my wife and children were lying unconscious and pulled them out of the burning house.
“Wow!” said the man, “this is a truly incredible pig. But I still don’t understand why it only has three legs!”
“Ah, well,” says the farmer.
“When you have a pig that special, you don’t eat it all at once.
They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women
A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.
“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.
What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!
Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.
They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!
Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”
The woman looked up wearily and said;
“You fool, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of the story is this:
If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.