Tourist Whose Boat Sank

A tourist was fishing off the coast of Florida when his boat capsized.

… He could swim, but he was afraid of alligators and clung to the side of the overturned boat.

Seeing an elderly beachgoer standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any alligators around here?”

“No,” the man shouted back. “There haven’t been any for years!”

Feeling safe, the tourist calmly began to swim toward the shore.

Halfway there, he heard the old beach man yell,

“Better watch out for the sharks, they’re hungry now that there are no crocodiles to eat!”

They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women

A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.

“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.

What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!

Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.

They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!

Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”

The woman looked up wearily and said;

“You fool, I meant my dress size.”

The moral of the story is this:

If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.