The Rich Lawyer’s Little Troubles
A cocky lawyer had just bought a new sports car.
… and he couldn’t wait to show it off to all his colleagues.
He parked at the side of the road and opened the driver’s side door, when suddenly an eighteen-wheel truck appeared out of nowhere and took the driver’s side door with it.
“No! My Jaguar, my Jaguar!” the lawyer shouted, knowing that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it would never be the same.
A policeman saw the car without a door and came over to see if the man was okay.
The lawyer ran up to him and yelled, “THE DOOR OF MY JAGUAR HAS JUST BEEN BROKEN BY AN IGNORANT DRIVER!”
“You’re a lawyer, aren’t you?” the officer asked.
“Yes, I am, but what does that have to do with my car?” the lawyer asked.
The officer replied: “You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your prestige and your possessions.
You must have been holding the car door at the time of the impact – I bet you didn’t even realize you didn’t have your left arm, did you?”
The lawyer looked to his side and exclaimed, “MY ROLEX!”
They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women
A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.
“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.
What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!
Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.
They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!
Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”
The woman looked up wearily and said;
“You fool, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of the story is this:
If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.