Tom Loves Cars, But His Wife?

Tom has finally decided to marry his longtime girlfriend.

One evening after his honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his hot rods for an upcoming show.

His wife was standing on a bench watching him.

After a long period of silence, he finally speaks.

“Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we’re married, maybe it’s time to stop spending all your time in the garage and you should probably think about selling all your cars.”

A horrified look appears on Tom’s face.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” he says.

“For a moment you’re starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

“Ex-wife!” he shouts, “You never told me you were married before!”

Tom’s response,

“I wasn’t”.

They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women

A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.

“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.

What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!

Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.

They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!

Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”

The woman looked up wearily and said;

“You fool, I meant my dress size.”

The moral of the story is this:

If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.