Amish Woman And Police

An Amish woman was driving her horse and buggy into town with her young son when she was stopped by a highway patrolman.

“I’m not going to give you a ticket,” the officer said, “I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your car is broken and could be dangerous.”

“Thank you,” said the Amish woman, “I will have my husband fix it as soon as I get home.”

“Also,” said the officer, “I noticed that one of your horse’s reins is tied around the horse’s testicles. Some might consider that ‘cruelty to animals,’ so you’d better have your husband check that out, too.”

“Thank you again,” said the Amish woman, “I will have my husband look into that when I get home.”

When the Amish woman returned home, she told her husband about the broken reflector, and he said he would fix it right away.

“Also,” the Amish woman said, “the police officer said there was something wrong with our emergency brake.

They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women

A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.

“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.

What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!

Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.

They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!

Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”

The woman looked up wearily and said;

“You fool, I meant my dress size.”

The moral of the story is this:

If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.