Wishes Of The State Police

Two men are driving in Alabama when they are pulled over by a state trooper.

The trooper approaches, bangs his baton on the window, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper hits him in the head with the baton.

The driver says, “Why did you do that?”

The trooper says, “You’re in Alabama, son. Your license will be ready when I pull you over.”

The driver says, “I’m sorry, officer, I’m not from around here.”

The officer checks the man’s license and it is clean.

He gives the man his license back and goes to the passenger side and knocks on the window.

The passenger rolls down the window and the policeman strikes him with his baton.

The passenger says, “Why did you do that?”

The cop says, “I’m just granting wishes.”

The passenger says, “Huh?”

The cop says, “I know two miles down the road you’ll be saying, ‘I wish that he had done that to me.

They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women

A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.

“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.

What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!

Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.

They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!

Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”

The woman looked up wearily and said;

“You fool, I meant my dress size.”

The moral of the story is this:

If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.