The Man Answers The Phone
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
The cell phone on one of the benches rings, and one of the men puts the phone on speaker and starts talking while wearing his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Man: “Hello?”
Woman: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
Man: “Yes.”
Woman: “I’m at the mall and I found this beautiful leather jacket. It’s only $1200 right now, down from $1900. Do you mind if I buy it?”
Man: “Sure, if you like it that much, buy it.
Woman: “Oh, thank you very much. I also went by the Mercedes dealership this morning and saw the new models, and there was one I really liked.”
Man: “How much?”
Woman: “80.000. “80.000.”
Man: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.
Woman: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. That house we looked at last year is back on the market. They want 1,500,000.”
Man: “Well, go ahead and make them an offer, but no more than 1,250,000.”
Woman: “Wow, great! See you later! I love you!”
Man: “I love you too, bye!”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room look at him in amazement.
Then he smiles and asks, “Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?”
They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women
A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.
“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.
What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!
Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.
They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!
Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”
The woman looked up wearily and said;
“You fool, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of the story is this:
If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.