His Wife Wasn’t Expecting A Chihuahua
A couple decides that they need a guard dog.
The husband goes to a pet store and says to the clerk, “I need a guard dog to protect my house.
The clerk replies, “I have the perfect dog for you,” and then shows the man a Chihuahua.
The man is not impressed and says, “I need a dog to guard our house and ward off burglars, a Chihuahua can’t do that.
“But this is no ordinary Chihuahua. This is an attack Chihuahua!” said the clerk, “Here, I’ll show you how it works! Attack Chihuahua, chair”.
The clerk pointed to a chair, and the man and the clerk watched as the Chihuahua tore it apart, leaving only splinters.
“Wow,” said the man, “but I still think we need a real guard dog.”
“Are you sure?” replied the woman, “I’ll show you again, the aggressive Chihuahua, the table!”
She pointed to a table and again the Chihuahua smashed it.
The man said, “Okay, okay, I’ll take it.”
When he brought it home, his wife was very upset.
“Why did you buy a Chihuahua?!” she yelled.
“Because,” he replied, “this is no ordinary Chihuahua, this is an attack Chihuahua!”
“Attack Chihuahua, my a**!” she replied.
They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women
A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.
“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.
What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!
Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.
They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!
Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”
The woman looked up wearily and said;
“You fool, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of the story is this:
If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.