Cowboy And What Happened In Texas

A cowboy rode into town on his horse and stopped at a bar for a drink.

Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on foreigners, and so did he.

When he finished his drink, he noticed that his horse had been stolen.

He went back to the bar, raised his rifle, caught it above his head without looking, and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you stole my horse?!” he shouted with surprising force.

No one answered.

“All right, I’m going to have another beer, and if my horse ain’t out by the time I’m done, I’m going to do what I did in Texas! And I don’t like having to do what I did in Texas!”

Some of the natives shifted uneasily.

True to his word, the man drank another beer, went outside, and his horse was taken back to the police station.

He saddled his horse and rode out of town.

The bartender came out of the bar and said, “Say, partner, before you go, what happened in Texas?”

And the cowboy came back and said.

“I had to walk home.”

They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women

A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.

“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.

What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!

Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.

They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!

Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”

The woman looked up wearily and said;

“You fool, I meant my dress size.”

The moral of the story is this:

If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.