The Teacher Refused To Accept The Exam Paper But…

A group of students are taking their end-of-year exams.

The beady-eyed old moderator at the head of the class stares at the clock at the end of the room as the students furiously scribble the rest of their answers, knowing that time is running out.

Minutes later, the clock struck a new hour and the exam was over.

“TIME’S UP!” the grumpy invigilator shouted, “Please put your papers in the pile on my desk.”

The students quietly stood up, breathed a sigh of relief, and quickly shoved their papers into a pile as they left the classroom.

All except one boy who was still finishing his last answer. He had finished 20 seconds later than the rest of his classmates, but as he stood up to put his paper on the pile, the old man motioned for him to stop.

“Too late,” the old man sneered, “you should have handed in your homework earlier.

The student’s mouth dropped open. This was not fair. “Hey, come on, I should be allowed to turn this in,” he stammered for a moment.

The old man still refused.

Then the student said smugly, “Do you know who I am?”

The old man looked at him over his glasses, almost stunned by the stupid boy’s smug attitude. “No, I don’t,” the moderator replied.

The student then said, “Good,” shoved his paper in the middle of the pile, and ran out of the room.

They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women

A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.

“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.

What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!

Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.

They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!

Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”

The woman looked up wearily and said;

“You fool, I meant my dress size.”

The moral of the story is this:

If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.