Priest And Nun
A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down.
The garage doesn’t open until morning, so they have to spend the night in a B&B. There is only one room available.
The priest says, “Sister, I don’t think the Lord would mind if we share this one room. I’ll sleep on the sofa and you can have the bed.”
“I think that would be fine,” the nun agrees.
They prepare for bed, say a few prayers, and settle down to sleep.
Ten minutes pass and the nun says, “Father, I’m very cold.”
“OK,” says the priest, “I’ll get a blanket from the closet.”
Another ten minutes pass and the nun says again: “Father, I’m still terribly cold.”
The priest says, “Don’t worry, I’ll get up and get you another blanket.
Another ten minutes pass, and then the nun murmurs in a soft and sultry voice, “Father, I’m still very cold. I don’t think the Lord would mind if we acted as husband and wife for one night.”
“You’re right,” says the priest. “Get your own damn blankets, you annoying woman!”
They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women
A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.
“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.
What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!
Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.
They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!
Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”
The woman looked up wearily and said;
“You fool, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of the story is this:
If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.