More Than Chili Peppers

A man sits down in a diner and asks for a bowl of hot chili.

The waitress says, “I’m sorry, but the man next to you had the last bowl.

The man looks over and sees that the other man has finished his meal, but that the bowl of chili is still full.

He asks him, “Are you going to eat that chili?”

The other man says, “No, by all means, help yourself.

He pushes the bowl of chili over and begins to eat. It’s delicious – the best chunky chili he’s had in a long time.

When he gets about halfway through, his spoon hits something.

Surprised, he looks down and sees a dead mouse in the bowl and immediately throws up all the chili.

The other man says,

“Yeah, that’s about as far as I got.

They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women

A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.

“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.

What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!

Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.

They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!

Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”

The woman looked up wearily and said;

“You fool, I meant my dress size.”

The moral of the story is this:

If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.