God Answers The Man’s Prayer

A man was praying in church.

He looks up to the sky and says, “God, can you answer one question for me?”

“Sure, my son,” God says, “what do you want to know?”

“God, what does a million years mean to you?”

“Well,” says God, “a million years to me is a second.”

“Hmm,” says the man. “I think I understand. What is a million dollars to you?”

“Son,” says God, “to me a million dollars is like a penny.”

“Hmm,” says the man. He continues to pray, but after a while he looks up.

“God,” he asks, “can I have a penny?”

“Sure,” says God. “Just a second.”

They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women

A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.

“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.

What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!

Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.

They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!

Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”

The woman looked up wearily and said;

“You fool, I meant my dress size.”

The moral of the story is this:

If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.