Ford Drivers Are Going To Hell
Three men are out driving on a beautiful sunny day.
However, they all fail to notice the stop signs and crash into each other at an intersection.
They all arrive at the Pearly Gates where St. Peter is waiting for them.
St. Peter asks, “So, what’s your story?”
The first of the three men replies, “Well, I think I just died in a car accident.
St. Peter nods and asks, “And what car were you driving on Earth?”
“A Pontiac Firebird,” replies the mortal.
“Oh, I see. Well, unfortunately, that means you’re going to hell, son.”
The second man approaches and is asked the same question.
The second man looks slightly concerned as he replies, “I was driving a Ford Mondeo.
“Sorry, going down,” says St. Peter.
The third man cautiously steps forward.
“So,” St. Peter asks, “what kind of car were you driving?”
“Uh, a Land Rover,” comes the shaky reply.
“Well, welcome to heaven, son,” says St. Peter.
The Land Rover driver is a little confused and says, “I thought I was in trouble. What is going on?”
St. Peter smiles and says, “Son, you’ve already been through hell.
They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women
A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.
“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.
What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!
Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.
They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!
Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”
The woman looked up wearily and said;
“You fool, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of the story is this:
If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.