Two Canadians Die And Go To Hell

Two Canadians die and go to hell.

The Devil decides to pay them a visit, so he enters their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they’re so happy.

They tell him, “Well, we’re so sick of the cold where we came from, and this place is nice and toasty.”

The Devil, annoyed, storms off and goes to Hell’s boiler room where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians’ room, being begged by all sorts of people along the way to turn the heat back down. He enters the room and sees the Canadians having a barbecue. He angrily asks them what they’re doing.

“Well, we can’t miss this beautiful weather without getting the barbecue out!”

The devil realizes he’s done the wrong thing.

He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s colder than it’s ever been on earth. He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement. He yells at them in anger, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!!!”

They look at him and yell at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!”

They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women

A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.

“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.

What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!

Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.

They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!

Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”

The woman looked up wearily and said;

“You fool, I meant my dress size.”

The moral of the story is this:

If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.