Old Woman Driving At Speed Limits
A state trooper sees a car going 22 mph.
He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as someone who is speeding!
He turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
As he approaches the car, he sees five elderly women, two in the front seat and three in the back, looking terrified, wide-eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him: “Officer, I don’t understand, I was going the speed limit! What is the problem?” she asks.
“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can be dangerous to other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit?” she asked. The old woman proudly replied, “No sir, I was driving exactly the speed limit. 22 miles per hour!”
The policeman tried to stop himself from laughing and explained that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit.
A little embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her mistake.
“But before I let you go, ma’am, I have to ask. Is everyone in the car okay? These women look very shaken up, and they haven’t made a peep all this time,” the officer asked.
“Oh, they’ll be fine in a minute, Officer. We just got off Route 119.”
They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women
A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.
“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.
What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!
Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.
They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!
Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”
The woman looked up wearily and said;
“You fool, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of the story is this:
If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.