Alcoholic Man’s Unusual Family Problem
A man from Alabama went to a psychiatrist with a drinking problem. He sat down in the office chair and the psychiatrist asked him, “So, can you tell me why you drink?”
The patient took a deep breath and said: “Of course, I know exactly why I drink, and I will tell you right now. It all started when I got married, and I think I never should have. I met and married a widow who had an adult daughter who later became my stepdaughter.
The man continued: “One day my father came to visit us. He immediately fell in love with my beautiful stepdaughter and eventually married her. Thus, my stepdaughter became my stepmother. Soon my wife and I had a son, and he became my father’s brother-in-law because he was my stepdaughter’s half-brother.
So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my father, she also became my stepmother! Now, because my new son is my stepmother’s brother, he is also my uncle. As you know, my wife is also my step-grandmother because she is my stepmother’s mother. Don’t forget that my stepmother is also my stepdaughter.
It gets even better: Because I am married to my step-grandmother, I am not only my wife’s grandson and husband, but also my own grandfather.
The psychiatrist looked horrified, took a deep breath and said,
“Now I understand why you drink. Of course, go ahead!”
They Say Men Don’t Listen To Women
A man asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.
“I’d like to be six again,” she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he woke her up early and they went to a local amusement park.
What a day! He took her on every ride in the park: Death Slide, Scream Loop, Wall of Horror, everything! Wow!
Five hours later, dizzy and sick to his stomach, he staggered out of the amusement park.
They went straight to McDonald’s and her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.
Then they went to the movies – it was the latest Disney movie and what an amazing adventure!
Finally, she returned home with her husband and collapsed on the bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked her affectionately: “So, honey, what was it like to be six years old again?”
The woman looked up wearily and said;
“You fool, I meant my dress size.”
The moral of the story is this:
If a woman speaks and a man is really listening, he will still misunderstand.